Sunday, June 19, 2005

Greetings, traveler

Editor's note: This entry refers to the previous name of this blog, 'Pornstar,' and as such doesn't make so much sense now. As you were...

Greetings, wayward internet traveler in search of porn. It's late at night, you're a lonely fellow, and you've probably stumbled across this site by accident. Perhaps you have seen the disclaimer at the beginning which...

Q: Fuck that. I'm looking for porn. Not some weird new-age acupuncture student freak and his musings about the nature of being. Give me some pictures of hot naked chicks doing questionable things with light industrial farm equipment.

A: I was saying, I have this disclaimer at the top of the page. See? It's "Porn" with an asterisk after it, so it's like, "Porn Star," but then also it's like, not really, because the asterisk indicates qualifiers...

Q: Screw you, hippie. I have already hit the back button and am scrolling down the page of my Google search, hoping to find some hot Wankel-Rotary-Engine-on-girl action.

A: No you haven't. You're still here, reading this.

Q: Well, okay, yes I am. But I'm using a browser that supports tabbed browsing, such as Mozilla, or Safari, and I've definitely got a lot of internet porn open in other tabs.

A: Fair enough. I'm glad to have been a short stop in the midst of your long journey. Even if it was due to slight duplicity on my part.

Q: Um...slight? "Porn" appears in huge capital letters at the top of the page.

A: It's actually...

Q: "Porn Star," yes, thanks. I got it. What's your point? Pick a demographic.

A: I have. I am looking for the person who thinks everything I think now is complete and utter useless flakey weird crap. I am looking for the person who lives in the actual material world, who knows all about it. I am writing for the person who understands it all. And then I'd like to quietly, subtly, and insidiously, blow his or her fucking mind.

Q: ...

A: Yes?

Q: Well, I mean, for starters, you haven't said anything about "what you think now." Or how it's different from "what you thought then." Or who you are. Or what you think. Or, anything about nature or the meaning of life.

A: Yes, yes. I'll get to that. Soon.

Q: When?

A: Soon.

Q: I'm closing this tab.

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